The picture painted by one of the most authoritative online travel guides suggests Madrid's reputation as one of Europe's most exhilarating capital cities is safe.
"This is Spain's headiest city, where revelling lasts long into the night and life is seized with both hands," reports the author, his enthusiasm for his subject apparent. "Strangers quickly become friends, passion blooms in an instant and visitors become swiftly addicted to its charms."
That Michael Owen's evaluation of Madrid's merits is less glowing is clear by the 25-year-old's admission that a quiet night out in Ponteland is a more attractive proposition.
Having made a conscious decision to embrace his new life in the North-East, Owen has discovered an appetite for the region which bodes well for his future at St James's Park.
"I have put roots down here," explained the Newcastle striker, who, since he moved his family into their new Northumberland home, has developed an affinity for his surroundings he never found during 12 unsettling months in Spain.
"We have been out and about in our village and it's lovely and quiet. Our new place is close to where a lot of the other players live so I have the choice between staying in and being quiet or meeting up with the lads and seeing the bright lights of Ponteland.
"It took us a while to settle at Madrid, what with all the hotel rooms, and we were dreading the first couple of months here. But we have the house, I'm good friends with a lot of the lads and my little girl has settled in, although there is still the odd tear when she goes to school.
"I have found it to be good, I have settled down much better than I thought I would."
Owen signed a four-year contract at St James's Park following his £16m move from Real Madrid, but those who believed United could never attract a player of his ilk remain unconvinced that he will remain for the duration of the deal.
On the day he was unveiled as Newcastle's most-expensive signing, the striker faced countless questions about his long-term future, while club officials were last month forced to correct reports suggesting he had purchased a helicopter in order to commute from his home in North Wales.
That his second child will be born a Geordie provides irrefutable evidence that a player with great affection for the North-East's countryside and golf courses is at home here.
"The baby is due in February," said Owen, who, along with wife Louise, has discovered Northumberland to be more suited to raising young children. "My daughter (Gemma) hasn't shown any signs of having a Geordie accent yet, but it's only a matter of time.
"I have been getting out and about with her after training and I have found out where all the parks are and where the playgroups are to keep her occupied. It wasn't good living in a hotel in Madrid. It's a big city and, when you walked out of the hotel, you had all the cars and the buildings and everything else and it wasn't great for kids.
"I stayed with Alan (Shearer) in his guest house for a couple of days when we first came and then we were in a hotel for three or four weeks. But we're settled in the house now and it's much better."
While his quiet life in the countryside is proving ideal for a renowned family man, Owen relishes the appetite for his new club he experiences on his trips into town. That Newcastle have made great improvements in recent weeks - winning four of their last six league matches - has contributed to his positive outlook.
"This is a city which is very passionate about football, it's a city with only one club and everyone is a Newcastle supporter," he said. "When I was in Madrid, I missed the passion of the man in the street. The passion of the fans was a big draw in me coming here.
"It means I wake up looking forward to playing because I know that when I go out there will be 50,000 people who are passionate about how I perform.
"When I went to Madrid, it was never going to be the same as what I was used to at Liverpool. I found myself in a place where I could hardly speak the language and I couldn't talk to many people.
"It wasn't the kind of thing you expect when you move to a new club, but here it's different. I mix with the lads a lot more here and I understand all the banter in the dressing room."
Not that he settled straight away. "He was quiet when he first came, it has taken him this time to settle, but he is joining in the banter now," said Graeme Souness, who is enjoying the benefits of Owen's contentment, as four goals in five games testifies. "He is now giving the other players abuse, that is part and parcel of the world we live in.
"The players abuse each other terribly and he doesn't escape it. He might miss a chance or two in training or miscontrol something and I get `how much did you pay for him, boss?'" It's all part of the togetherness which I know is so important if you're going to be successful."
For all his new acquaintances, it seems Owen is still closest to Shearer, his old England ally, who, while trailing him in the Premiership scoring stakes this season, still has the upper hand on the golf course.
"It's usually me and Alan against Steve Harper and Shay Given," he added. "Alan is really good at golf - better than me. But he doesn't play for England so he always has two weeks to practice when I'm away on international duty."
With Owen spearheading Newcastle's attack, Graeme Souness' side is an upwardly mobile unit - quite a contrast to the team who gained just one point from 12 before Owen's arrival.
"You can tell in the city there's a buzz again and people have a spring in their step," he added. "It's nice that everyone is looking up
the table and talking about who's third.
"If you get this club on the crest of a wave it will be a fantastic place. We're on the small start of that wave at the minute and we need to keep going.
"It's amazing how things snowball when everything is going wrong and then again when everything goes right.
"That's what happens at this club, and there are parallels with England, but it is magnified with England. When I joined here everyone was talking about managers and we won a couple of games and everything was looking great.
"Then we lose one and it is back on about the manager. I just thought if this goes on all season it'll do our heads in."
