Morsomme replikker

[Flatline]

Tenkte vi kunne ha en samletråd med morsomme replikker fra TV - og underholdningsbransjen.
Jeg får fyre opp med denne :

Vebjørn Rodal etter han vant OL gull 800m, "Jeg begynte å nærme meg mål da jeg så svartingen dukka opp på sia av meg, så jeg ga det siste jeg hadde og det holdt heldigvis til mål."

BBC-nyhetsanker: ..this was football for today, and now over to scottish football.  Hehehe.

[Flatline]

"Puh, så varmt det er..(pause)....nå tenker jeg dommeren er våt i dusken sin...."
Terje Dalby kommenterer en fotballkamp med kvinnelandslaget i OL i Atlanta der den kvinnelige dommeren har satt opp håret i en hestehale.

 

[Hughie]

Mye sykt ute og går i kommentatormiljøene. Kombinasjoner som livesending, tidspress, stress, søvnmangel og for enkelte...alkohol gjør nok sitt.

"Han står som kuken!"
- Pål Clasen. Om en mannlig deltaker under frittstående i turn-VM.

"Der går Unni Holmen ut i spagaten på bommen så hele pølsebua åpner seg. Den som hadde vært bom nå dere!"
- Pål Clasen. Unni Holmen (14 år  ) deltok i turn-VM.

"Selv om du er en fyrig elsker, så er du ikke automatisk skikket til å være gynekolog."
- Ivar Hoff. Om fotballspillere som vil bli trenere.

"Sverige tar ut en neger og setter innpå en sigøyner."
- Bulgarsk TV. Henke Larsson inn for Martin Dahlin i VM94.

Og sist, men ikke minst:

Med snøvlete stemme: "Det er de blå som har ballen"
- Rolf Hovden. Antageligvis ikke edru. 

?Nå er det faen meg 12 negere på banen!?
- Rolv Hovden. Landskamp mellom Norge og et afrikansk land på 70-tallet.

[torfinn]

Hehe. Skitten jævel denne Clasen.

[BenArfa]

"Og her kommer litt av en idrettsutøver!"

- Terje Dalby under paralympics-OL 1994

[Flatline]

hehe!"

[Kristoffer]

Slenger inn noen sitater fra den største med det samme:

"When Gazza was dribbling, he used to go through a minefield with his arm, a bit like you go through a supermarket."

 "Manchester United dropped points, Liverpool dropped points, Chelsea dropped points, Everton dropped points, so in a way we haven't lost anything at all really, although we dropped all three."

 "I'm not going to look beyond the semi-final - but I would love to lead Newcastle out at the final."

"He never fails to hit the target. But that was a miss."

 "Eighteen months ago Sweden were arguably one of the best three teams in Europe, and that would include Germany, Holland, Russia and anybody else if you like."

 "We can't replace Gary Speed. Where do you get an experienced player like him with a left foot and a head?"

 "Gary Speed has never played better, never looked fitter, never been older."

 ?Alan Shearer has done very well for us, considering his age. We have introduced some movement into his game because he has got two good legs now. Last season he played with one leg.?

 "People want success. It's like coffee, they want instant."

 ?Well, we got nine and you can't score more than that.?

 ?Some of the goals were good, some of the goals were sceptical.?

 "He's the only man I know who could start an argument with himself" (On Craig Bellamy)

 "One day, someone will end a football game scoring more than Brazil. This might be the time that they lose."

 "Denis Law once kicked me at Wembley in front of the Queen in an international. I mean, no man is entitled to do that, really."

 "Home advantage gives you an advantage."

 "Look at those olive trees! They're 200 years old - from before the time of Christ."

 "In the first half he took a corner, a poor corner, which hit the first defender, and it took him 17 minutes to get back to the halfway line." (on former Newcastle winger Laurent Robert)

 "With Maradona, even Arsenal would have won the World Cup." (in 1986)

 ?They're two points behind us, so we're neck and neck.?

 ?We didn't underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought.?

 ?Hitler didn't tell us when he was going to send over those doodlebugs, did he?? (On why he refused to name his England team before a World Cup qualifer against Sweden in 1989).

Og så en personlig favoritt, Gordon Strachan:

?If I say anything at all there will be headlines all over the place.?

 ?Scotland have a system which is getting better, but it's players who win and lose games. Look at England. They have a system, but if the opposition players jump higher, tackle harder and shoot better, your system is in trouble.?

"When he [Claus Lundekvam] was carried off at Leicester someone asked me if he was unconscious, but I didn't have a clue. He's always like that....."

 Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?
 Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there....

Its an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson. On Wayne Rooney

?I'm going home now to get myself a Coca-Cola and a packet of crisps and I'll sit in front of the television and look at the table on Teletext all night.?

"He [Sir Alex Ferguson] used to play tapes of Bill Shankly talking. I remember that and a singer he liked. I don't know who it was but it was crap. He played it on the team bus too, and all the boys hated it. Until one night it got chucked away. If he's still wondering who threw that tape off the bus, it was me. So maybe he was right and I'm not to be trusted....."

 Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?
 Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there.

"I tried to get the disappointment out of my system by going for a walk. I ended up 17 miles from home and I had to phone my wife, Lesley to come and pick me up."

 Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
 Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.

 Reporter: Gordon, Do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the England squad?
 Strachan: I dont care, I'm Scottish

?Pahars has also caught every virus going except a computer virus and he is probably working on that even now.?

 Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
 Strachan: "Velocity" [walks off]

 Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?
 Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless."

 Reporter: Is that your best start to a season?
 Strachan: Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the Coventry one, that's for sure.

?I have discovered that when you go to Anfield or Old Trafford, it pays not to wear a coloured shirt because everyone can see the stains as the pressure mounts. I always wear a white shirt so nobody sees you sweat.?

 Reporter: Are you getting where you want to be with this team?
 Strachan: We're not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into Europe. I don't know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us to win the Champions League?

 Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?
 Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.

I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado.

 Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
 Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down.

 Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?
 Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.

[Peter]

"Gary Speed has never played better, never looked fitter, never been older."

Bevis på at ikke alle har sett det samme som Rooney

[Joakim]

"Og her kommer litt av en idrettsutøver!"

- Terje Dalby under paralympics-OL 1994

Den salige Terje Dalby har utrolig mange sitat som åpner for en uheldig tolkning.

[Hughie]

Den er legendarisk!

[Hans J]

Herlig replisering frå Einar Førde her.

[Joakim]

Jeg begynner automatisk å tenke på Tore når jeg ser Einar Førde fra hans tid som politiker. Fantastisk retorikk, og herlig sarkasme.

[Kristoffer]

Hahaha - så grusomt vittig. Perfekt med den musikken til. Kåre Willoch ser jo veldig ut som Burns fra Simpsons uten at jeg har tenkt veldig over det før!

[Flatline]

Willoch ser ikke en dag eldre ut i dag, 30 år etter  :lol:

[Hughie]

Haha, det er sant! Digger blikket hans etter at han skjønner at han har blitt eid!