Newutd.no
Newutd.no => Chit chat => Emne startet av: Flatline pć 05. Okt. 2011, 19:39
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Tenkte vi kunne ha en samletrÄd med morsomme replikker fra TV - og underholdningsbransjen.
Jeg fÄr fyre opp med denne :
VebjÞrn Rodal etter han vant OL gull 800m, "Jeg begynte Ä nÊrme meg mÄl da jeg sÄ svartingen dukka opp pÄ sia av meg, sÄ jeg ga det siste jeg hadde og det holdt heldigvis til mÄl."
BBC-nyhetsanker: ..this was football for today, and now over to scottish football. Hehehe.
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"Puh, sÄ varmt det er..(pause)....nÄ tenker jeg dommeren er vÄt i dusken sin...."
Terje Dalby kommenterer en fotballkamp med kvinnelandslaget i OL i Atlanta der den kvinnelige dommeren har satt opp hÄret i en hestehale.
;D
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Mye sykt ute og gÄr i kommentatormiljÞene. Kombinasjoner som livesending, tidspress, stress, sÞvnmangel og for enkelte...alkohol gjÞr nok sitt.
"Han stÄr som kuken!"
- PÄl Clasen. Om en mannlig deltaker under frittstÄende i turn-VM.
"Der gÄr Unni Holmen ut i spagaten pÄ bommen sÄ hele pÞlsebua Äpner seg. Den som hadde vÊrt bom nÄ dere!"
- PĂ„l Clasen. Unni Holmen (14 Ă„r :o ) deltok i turn-VM.
"Selv om du er en fyrig elsker, sÄ er du ikke automatisk skikket til Ä vÊre gynekolog."
- Ivar Hoff. Om fotballspillere som vil bli trenere.
"Sverige tar ut en neger og setter innpÄ en sigÞyner."
- Bulgarsk TV. Henke Larsson inn for Martin Dahlin i VM94.
Og sist, men ikke minst:
Med snÞvlete stemme: "Det er de blÄ som har ballen"
- Rolf Hovden. Antageligvis ikke edru. ::)
âNĂ„ er det faen meg 12 negere pĂ„ banen!â
- Rolv Hovden. Landskamp mellom Norge og et afrikansk land pÄ 70-tallet.
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Hehe. Skitten jĂŠvel denne Clasen. :P
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"Og her kommer litt av en idrettsutĂžver!"
- Terje Dalby under paralympics-OL 1994
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hehe!"
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Slenger inn noen sitater fra den stĂžrste med det samme:
"When Gazza was dribbling, he used to go through a minefield with his arm, a bit like you go through a supermarket."
"Manchester United dropped points, Liverpool dropped points, Chelsea dropped points, Everton dropped points, so in a way we haven't lost anything at all really, although we dropped all three."
"I'm not going to look beyond the semi-final - but I would love to lead Newcastle out at the final."
"He never fails to hit the target. But that was a miss."
"Eighteen months ago Sweden were arguably one of the best three teams in Europe, and that would include Germany, Holland, Russia and anybody else if you like."
"We can't replace Gary Speed. Where do you get an experienced player like him with a left foot and a head?"
"Gary Speed has never played better, never looked fitter, never been older."
âAlan Shearer has done very well for us, considering his age. We have introduced some movement into his game because he has got two good legs now. Last season he played with one leg.â
"People want success. It's like coffee, they want instant."
âWell, we got nine and you can't score more than that.â
âSome of the goals were good, some of the goals were sceptical.â
"He's the only man I know who could start an argument with himself" (On Craig Bellamy)
"One day, someone will end a football game scoring more than Brazil. This might be the time that they lose."
"Denis Law once kicked me at Wembley in front of the Queen in an international. I mean, no man is entitled to do that, really."
"Home advantage gives you an advantage."
"Look at those olive trees! They're 200 years old - from before the time of Christ."
"In the first half he took a corner, a poor corner, which hit the first defender, and it took him 17 minutes to get back to the halfway line." (on former Newcastle winger Laurent Robert)
"With Maradona, even Arsenal would have won the World Cup." (in 1986)
âThey're two points behind us, so we're neck and neck.â
âWe didn't underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought.â
âHitler didn't tell us when he was going to send over those doodlebugs, did he?â (On why he refused to name his England team before a World Cup qualifer against Sweden in 1989).
Og sÄ en personlig favoritt, Gordon Strachan:
âIf I say anything at all there will be headlines all over the place.â
âScotland have a system which is getting better, but it's players who win and lose games. Look at England. They have a system, but if the opposition players jump higher, tackle harder and shoot better, your system is in trouble.â
"When he [Claus Lundekvam] was carried off at Leicester someone asked me if he was unconscious, but I didn't have a clue. He's always like that....."
Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there....
Its an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson. On Wayne Rooney
âI'm going home now to get myself a Coca-Cola and a packet of crisps and I'll sit in front of the television and look at the table on Teletext all night.â
"He [Sir Alex Ferguson] used to play tapes of Bill Shankly talking. I remember that and a singer he liked. I don't know who it was but it was crap. He played it on the team bus too, and all the boys hated it. Until one night it got chucked away. If he's still wondering who threw that tape off the bus, it was me. So maybe he was right and I'm not to be trusted....."
Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?
Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there.
"I tried to get the disappointment out of my system by going for a walk. I ended up 17 miles from home and I had to phone my wife, Lesley to come and pick me up."
Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.
Reporter: Gordon, Do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the England squad?
Strachan: I dont care, I'm Scottish
âPahars has also caught every virus going except a computer virus and he is probably working on that even now.â
Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
Strachan: "Velocity" [walks off]
Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless."
Reporter: Is that your best start to a season?
Strachan: Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the Coventry one, that's for sure.
âI have discovered that when you go to Anfield or Old Trafford, it pays not to wear a coloured shirt because everyone can see the stains as the pressure mounts. I always wear a white shirt so nobody sees you sweat.â
Reporter: Are you getting where you want to be with this team?
Strachan: We're not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into Europe. I don't know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us to win the Champions League?
Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?
Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.
I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado.
Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down.
Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?
Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.
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"Gary Speed has never played better, never looked fitter, never been older."
Bevis pÄ at ikke alle har sett det samme som Rooney ;)
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"Og her kommer litt av en idrettsutĂžver!"
- Terje Dalby under paralympics-OL 1994
Den salige Terje Dalby har utrolig mange sitat som Ă„pner for en uheldig tolkning.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vbd5tLm4FO4
Den er legendarisk!
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Herlig replisering frÄ Einar FÞrde her.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pid7jVOkmK0
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Jeg begynner automatisk Ä tenke pÄ Tore nÄr jeg ser Einar FÞrde fra hans tid som politiker. Fantastisk retorikk, og herlig sarkasme.
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Hahaha - sÄ grusomt vittig. Perfekt med den musikken til. KÄre Willoch ser jo veldig ut som Burns fra Simpsons uten at jeg har tenkt veldig over det fÞr!
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Willoch ser ikke en dag eldre ut i dag, 30 Ă„r etter :lol:
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Haha, det er sant! Digger blikket hans etter at han skjĂžnner at han har blitt eid! :D
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Blir bare bedre og bedre for hver gang du ser den!
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Hahahaha... helt forjĂŠvlig konge!
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Hahaha! Herrefred! :lol:
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Kikka litt videre fra klippet med Einar FĂžrde og fant denne gamle perlen. Har sikkert sett den tjue ganger, men herregud hvor vittig!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5GAFK5_eDU&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5GAFK5_eDU&feature=related)
Martin Schanke: Det er jo organisert som en fyllefest i et jĂŠvla irsk bryggeri!
TV2-reporter: Siste gang du stiller opp i skolevalg?
Martin Schanke: Nei, men jeg ante ikke at dette var skolevalg i det hele tatt. Jeg fikk beskjed: "Kan du komme en tur bort og snakke for noen unge mennesker?", sÄ jeg er omtrent like forberedt som ei jomfru som har slÄtt opp telt i en militÊrleir!
AP-politiker: Jeg synes du er feig!
AP-politiker: Men i helvete!
Martin Schanke: Hvor feig er jeg?
AP-politiker: Hva er dette her for noe?
Martin Schanke: Det var et slag.
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...nÄ va du smart, nÄ va du vÊldi smart!
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Ler sÄ jeg detter av stolen her! Episk! :lol:
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VLsRbDU37w
Hans Bauge - trenger jeg si mer?
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Martin Schanke-klippet er jĂŠvlig bra og Bauge er legendarisk! Hvalfangst tar kaka.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VLsRbDU37w
Hans Bauge - trenger jeg si mer?
He he he. Sakset fra Wiki:
Hans Kristian Bauge (fÞdt 1. mai 1947) er en norsk privatetterforsker (spesialetterforsker som han uttaler selv), taxi-sjÄfÞr, og samfunnsdebattant.
Bauge lĂ„ i Ă„relang strid med Oslo Taxi om retten til Ă„ kjĂžre drosje i egendesignet uniform â og om retten til Ă„ nekte Ă„ ta kredittkort.
«Den tidligere drosjeeieren kom i tottene pÄ Oslo Taxisentral og deretter pÄ Oslo kommune fordi de, ifÞlge Bauge, urettmessig fratok ham drosjelÞyvet. Han sendte saken sin til TVNorge, som satt i andre enden av faksen og sÄ dokumentene tyte ut i syv lange og syv brede.»
Bauge blir «lyn forbanna» nÄr han oppdager likegyldig eller urettferdig behandling av medborgere, og har dermed lite pent Ä si om landets alle «uvesener»: Rettsvesenet, helsevesenet, skattevesenet og sosialvesenet slÄs i hartkorn med narkotikasmuglere, politikere og forsikringsselskaper. NÄr det berÞmte Bauge-brÞlet gjaller, velger de fleste av dem Ä holde seg for Þrene, legge pÄ rÞret, skalke kontorluka, dra ned rullegardinen og forbanne stemmeretten.»
:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Hehe - litt av en fyr ja. Nok en fin FĂžrde-kommentar mot Bauge:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNZ9ez-bcb8&feature=player_embedded
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FÞrde uttalte tidligere i programmet: " MÄ vi holde ut med han der til de fÄr rengjort buret?"
:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Det der er sÄ fantastisk. Ingen ting Ä si pÄ de retoriske evnene til FÞrde i alle fall.
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Skal kjÞpe den biografien om FÞrde. Den mannen var hysterisk. Var det ikke en historie om en nebbete dame pÄ NRK-huset som fikk slengt i trynet om hun fikk "pult nok hjemme" slengt i trynet..
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Mange artige innlegg pÄ sol debatt..
Denne feks.. http://debatt.sol.no/content/gutter-hjelp-meg-7
"Jeg lurer jo sÄ klart pÄ hva han synes om meg... Jeg er 165 cm og veier 57 kg(hvis det sier noe.......... ) Har alltid hadd sprettrumpe og har b-cup. Jeg vet det virker litt rart, men hÞres det tiltrekkende ut? :P"
Gjett hvilket innlegg som er mitt... he he.
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HĂžrtes tiltrekkende ut da :P
Men - lett Ă„ se hvem du er da ;)
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Litt sĂžtt med jenter som har litt gjennomtrekk der oppe. De er som regel de beste i senga og :wink:
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Kristoffer: Gjett hvem jeg er her :lol:
http://debatt.sol.no/content/naboen-hater-hunden-min
"Jo hun er en fillebikkje"
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:lol:
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Den eneste useriÞse og groteske kommentaren mÄ jo bare vÊre deg. :P
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Siden jeg ser trÄden har dreid litt over pÄ gode kommentarer generellt istedenfor fra kjente personer, vil jeg komme med en av de kommentarene jeg likte best selv:
Undertegnede var pÄ kjÞpesenter pÄ veg til clas ohlson, ikledd allvÊrsjakke joggebukse og et par slitne sko. Passerer en glatt partysvenske utenfor Bertoni, hvorpÄ han sier: "Hey Amigo. PÄ tide Ä skifte stil". Jeg klarer pÄ forunderlig vis Ä svare fÞlgende: "Hey Amigo. PÄ tide Ä skifte fil." SÄ gikk jeg videre mens han sÄ ut som en fisk pÄ land...
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Skaff deg en fanpage pÄ facebook og jeg er lett fan.
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Det derre er en en klar innertier av deg - og lots of respect! Du eide han totalt :cheers2:
:pard:
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BjĂžrni - The king of comebacks! :D
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Klasse!
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Ikke at det er noe galt med noen av filene, men om den kom sÄ spontant som det hÞres ut, sÄ er det klasse ja :D